


Soap

by HufflepuffleMarauder



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Dreams, F/M, Fluff, I put too much effort into this for it to just lie there and collect dust, Kinda first kiss?, Like, Might end up being a two-shot, One-Shot, Pining, Romance, Tina POV, Tina is a cinnamon roll, We all love Queenie, newtina, seriously she dreams a lot, tina is oblivious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-03
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-26 15:43:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13860885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HufflepuffleMarauder/pseuds/HufflepuffleMarauder
Summary: Porpentina Goldstein never fell in love.A one-shot studying Tina and her (in)experience with love.Inspired by Melanie Martinez's song, Soap





	Soap

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this about four months ago and I only meant for it to be something for myself, but it turned into 4000 words of Tina pining for Newt. I really didn't plan on posting this, I just felt like I'd put too much effort into it for it to not go to waste.
> 
> This was based on a song by Melanie Martinez, titled Soap. (Keep in mind I wrote this way before the rape accusations, and I don't support rape at all)

__

_I think I just remembered something_

Porpentina Goldstein never fell in love.

She would come off as plain, boring and prickly. (An accurate reflection of her name) Men found it hard to get to know her, hard to get through her tough and prickly exterior. She was fine with that, they never tried if they knew Queenie was on offer.

Queenie, her bombshell, firecracker of a sister was the beauty of her year. Tina would be heckled by boys in the corridors only to be asked how to woo her. Tina would always give the same answer: "Flowers, kind thoughts, maybe a box of chocolates." Queenie had an on going love-life. She'd kissed fifteen different boys before third year and had many admirers, unlike Tina, who only had her first kiss at the age of sixteen.

Many believed that she was jealous of her sister. But how could she be bothered by a little thing like jealousy when Queenie was all she had? Queenie was too sweet anyway so how could she possibly feel anything but love and admiration for her only sister. Life was too short for frivolous, petty emotions.

_Think I left the faucet running_

Instead, she threw herself into her studies, concentrating on forming a life for her only family.

Sure, she fancied a few boys in her year. But, unlike other girls, she never acted upon her feelings, she was too mature to meddle in such things as love. Queenie would encourage her to try a few dates, maybe have some fun in her life. Tina refused, her studies were more important than her own happiness and enjoyment. But see knew that deep down no one would ever want to date her anyway. She was just plain, boring Tina.

Her heart had been broken once. By a boy who, she was told, had liked her for quite a while. Tina was instant extremely flattered and shocked that a boy had even looked twice at her. When he confessed Tina gave herself some leeway, telling herself that it was her last year at school, maybe she wouldn't ever be able to do this again.

_Now my words are filling half the tub_

For the first time she accepted the offer of a date with a smile and an uncharacteristic blush. He made her feel special, like she was Queenie. Under his gaze she felt beautiful and confident. For once she didn't concentrate so much on her classes, distracted by his kisses and the prospect of a boy actually liking her. He span her round and round a heaven that she'd never visited. For a while Tina almost believed that he really loved her. Until she came spiralling back to Earth at the sight of him kissing another girl.

_Darling you're just soaking in it_

After that brief experience of being in love Tina decided that she'd never take the risk again of a broken heart. So she built a tough, prickly armour round herself as protection from any other scars to her delicate heart.

A few gentlemen had tried to break through that armour to find the complex character inside. But Tina didn't let them, she ran away. Away from her fears and anxieties, away from love and back to the comforting arms of her sister. Tina made sure that she never let anyone attempt to penetrate her armour. And no one did.

Until Newt Scamander.

_But I know you'll get out the minute_

Tina found Newt Scamander outside a bank. She watched him from the moment he stumbled into her, cautious of his odd suitcase and distinct blue coat. Tina couldn't believe her eyes when she saw a little creature run up the stairs of the bank and stuff some gold coins into its little pouch. When the odd man seemed equally shocked she followed them both into the bank.

She began to get a little frustrated when the odd man left behind an egg of all things for a no-maj to pick up. That particular no-maj was a friendly, sweet man called Jacob Kowalski. Tina kept her eye on the odd man and her suspicions were true when he whipped out his wand in front of the no-maj an aparated them both into the vault where the gold was kept. Tina couldn't believe her eyes when he did that in _plain sight_ of _everyone_ and apparating a no-maj of all people.

When they apparated to the side of the bank (after causing the alarm to go off) Tina watched them from the balcony and walked down, determined to question this man of his wrong doings. She knew she wasn't supposed to, she had been demoted after all. But she wanted to prove herself to Madame Piquery and this was the perfect way.

Tina determinedly walked up to him when he was coming out the side of the bank after seeing the no-Maj leave. Once they were close enough she grabbed his arm and apparated them into a small, nearby alleyway and pushed him against the wall while checking if anyone saw.

_You notice all your fingers pruning up_

At first sight of him up close Tina found him to have an innocent-looking face with freckles. Although she didn't get much time to study his appearance because he instantly ducked his head down, hiding under his fringe. Tina very quickly became angry at him, perhaps it was because he didn't obliviate the no-maj, or because he didn't understand no-maj, or because he kept up a look of innocence. Either way she was at the end of her wits.

Tina took him to MACUSA headquarters, hoping to gain something out of this mess. Unfortunately, she walked into a private meeting with Madame Piquery and her old boss, Mr Graves. Tina was mortified that Mr Scamander had to see her scolded like that and she took him down to the wand permit office. Taking out paperwork and sitting on her desk, she tried desperately to regain her lost status in front of him.

Tina hated him at first. With his habit of not paying attention to rules and his case full of magical creatures. He about her with his ways of not being worried about a bite that "wasn't serious".

She found him infuriating.

In their apartment Queenie only just caught Mr Scamander reaching for the doorknob and asked him wether he preferred pie or strudel. He responded with a nervous smile and saying that he didn't have a preference. He was a little different, this Mr Scamander, Tina thought. She felt a little hurt by the fact that he tried to run away, even though she usually was the one to run.

Queenie had taken to Jacob, the No-Maj, instantly. Sitting opposite to him and flirting shamelessly, her shining smile in the candlelight. Jacob had flirted back, of course, taking the opportunity to attempt to woo a pretty woman like Queenie.

Tina sat opposite the strange, odd and slightly mystifying Mr Scamander. Their eyes made awkward contact every few seconds, to which Tina quickly averted her eyes away from him. As Queenie effortlessly flirted and charmed Jacob, Tina wished for the first time that she could flirt like that... maybe with a certain man sitting opposite her. Queenie (annoyingly) heard this and promptly told her that "I am not flirting"

Tina had a momentary panic while Mr Scamander looked at her curiously. She made a quick excuse at telling Queenie not to get too attached. Which wasn't really so much of an excuse because it was the truth. Queenie had a big heart, Tina just hoped it wouldn't break.

Mr Scamander and Jacob stayed in the bedroom that she and Queenie shared. Tina felt bad and, at her sister's encouragement, brought them hot cocoa. She stopped feeling bad when Mr Scamander wouldn't look at her.

Later that night, Tina was irritated to find that they'd both escaped to Central Park and quickly went after them. Needless to say, Queenie was extremely hurt. But Tina couldn't dwell on that while running all over New York in her pajamas.

_I'm tired of being_

Tina going after them ended with getting a death sentence for both her and Newt. The look on his face and the way he dejectedly trailed after the employees. The overwhelming sense of guilt. It was all too much.

She always had a knack for turning up where she was least wanted.

In the death chamber she sobbed uncontrollably as they were led inside, not believing that she was going to die. Her life was flashing before her. Tina knew full well she wouldn't be missed by many. Only Queenie. And dear Queenie _needed_ her. Once she was on the chair and trying to recollect her memory of how she got there, Newt had somehow gotten out of his handcuffs and managed to knock out the two witches holding him, triggering the trance she was in. The death potion started riding up to her height of standing as Newt told her not to panic, that he'd catch her.

Tina wanted to believe him, she really did, but the only person she'd ever been able to trust was Queenie. Newt looked at her, straight in the eye (which she knew was hard for him because of the way he held himself) and said "I'll catch you Tina"

_Careful_

She jumped and he did just as he said he would. He caught her. Holding each other, she looked into his eyes, knowing that she could trust him.

They regrouped on top of a building and Tina was painfully aware that she had become quite fond of this strange man. She was no longer annoyed at him and tried to understand his motives. Feeling that she needed to find a way to make it up to him for getting them a death sentence, she told him about Gnarlack and led them all to the illegal speakeasy.

Tina felt slightly embarrassed under Newt's watching eye as she used magic to change into a more suitable dress. Queenie smiled sweetly at Jacob and for a brief moment Tina wished she could take off her armour.

_Gentle_

From the Blind Pig they went to search for Newt's Demiguise in the department store but it turned out that an Occamy had escaped too. Tina felt a horribly betrayed by this. Her trust had been proven wrong many times. So afterwards asked him if that was everything that came out of his case. He didn't lie to her.

Back in Newt's case, all the creatures were being tended to while Queenie talked to him. She later told Tina about Leta Lestrange. Leta and Newt seemed to be very close during school, but she left a horde of bad memories.Queenie said that he was still hurting, but very much in love with her.

The last comment pulled at Tina's heartstrings a little more than she would admit.

_Trying to keep the water warm_

Credence Bareborne was the Obscurus.

When they found that out it was almost too late. Credence had already caused mass destruction through the city. The four of them stood on top of the Squire's building, watching. Newt hurriedly passed her his beloved case and a book full of his notes, telling her that if he didn't come back to look after his creatures. Tina had only just processed what had happened when he jumped and apparated off the building and she said his first name out loud for the first time. Quickly apparating after him, she told him to get to Credence while she duelled Graves to buy him time.

Down in the subway Newt tried to calm Credence but Graves was too much. Tina joined them and only just managed to calm down the parasite within him, but only when MACUSA came with their wands pointed. They all pleaded for them not to hurt Credence, to leave him alone.

Spells were emitted from the wands and Tina could only remember a blur of not being able to save this poor boy. They mourned over him. The unfortunate child who just needed love.

Tina felt a great respect at Newt being able to obliviate the entire city with his majestic Thunderbird and almost forgot Jacob.

As Jacob stepped into the rain Tina saw Newt tearing up and she even shed a few tears herself. It was heartbreaking watching Queenie step out and kiss the man she'd become so fond of. Tina almost found herself wishing she was that bold.

_Let me under your skin_

On the day of Newt's departure Tina made an effort in dressing nicely, even wearing a skirt. She didn't know why she had a sudden change in character. When saying goodbye she became oddly emotional. She didn't want Newt to leave, she wanted to stall his boat back to England.

She thanked him for going to MACUSA to get her job back, it meant a lot to get that he cared. Most people didn't. Tina also blurted out something that she shouldn't have and for a moment she wished she'd never spoke.

_Uh-oh there it goes_

"Does Leta Lestrange like to read?"

It was a simple yet meaningful question filled with a heavy background. For a second Newt seemed lost in his own thoughts and didn't appear to have heard her. For some reason, Tina didn't go back on what she said.

"The girl who's picture you carry."

Newt replied with an answer that would bounce around her head for the next eight months. He said that people change, adding that he'd changed a little. Tina was delighted and felt tears threatening to spill from her eyes as Newt told her that he'd send her a copy of his book and she gave him a heartfelt smile.

"Yes, I'd like that."

The ship honked it's horn and Tina wanted to tell him not to leave. Newt looked at her straight in the eye and leant forward to stroke a lock of hair, then turned around and left. Tina looked down, she couldn't bear to watch him leave with the knowledge that she might never see him again. But mere seconds later he was standing in front of her and offered to deliver her copy of his book in person. A joyful laugh escaped her and she smiled at him while giving a reply.

"I'd like that, very much!"

He nodded carefully and then turned away again, this time under Tina's watchful eyes and lingering smile. She watched him stop as he seemed to contemplate something, but then he carried on. Tina turned and walked away, allowing herself a little skip and giggle.

_I said too much it overflowed_

They kept correspondence through letters, slowly gaining each other's trust. Tina learnt that it wasn't really Newt's fault he got expelled, he took the fall for Leta. Ever the Hufflepuff. Every time Leta was mentioned Tina felt a twinge of jealousy, even though she was in the past and he wasn't hers.

Each letter grew her affections for Newt, and she wanted to beg for him to break through her armour. Tina had dreams of meeting him again with a nervous smile on his face, book in hand. In her dreams she could picture him so perfectly, peacock blue coat, yellow waistcoat, unruly mop of reddish brown hair and that British accent she never knew she was so fond of until now. Queenie would read her mind, smile knowingly and tell her that he would come soon.

And so he did.

_Why do I always spill?_

After Newt left Tina avoided washing her bedsheets that he'd slept in for a longer amount of time than usual. He face would heat up at the thought of anyone finding out. She didn't know why, but the earthy, masculine smell of him helped her sleep through nightmares filled with death potions and a dark mass called Credence.

Newt sent her a letter telling her the date and time that his ship would arrive. Tina was at the docks exactly on time and was so excited that she didn't care that his ship was an hour late, or that he spent another half-hour in customs. Usually she would have left in a huff, annoyed that she'd been made to wait, but this was Newt. The man she'd been waiting to see for eight months.

The moment she saw him she smiled involuntarily and then realised how odd she must have looked. Luckily he walked towards her and couldn't utter a single word of "Hello" because Tina had wrapped him in a tight hug. She instantly pulled back, feeling as if she'd lost control of her body.

What was he doing to her?

Tina recovered quickly and the walk back to her cosy apartment was a little better, she managed not to blurt out anything embarrassing or do anything odd. They found talking with each other easy and comfortable over a cup of coffee and tea, picking up where they left off from their letters. She told him how Queenie had visited Jacob's bakery and each time she did he started to regain his memory slightly, so much that one day he fainted. After that Queenie and Jacob were inseparable. He was still a little hazy, but knew about magic and about Newt.

When Queenie came back home she brought Jacob with her and Newt seemed ecstatic to see his friend again. They both stayed for dinner and to Tina it felt like almost Déjà Vu, except this time Newt actually talked. Queenie had just asked him about his book, a lingering question on Tina's mind because he hadn't actually given her a copy. At the mention of his book he immediately jumped up to go in his suitcase and clamber back out with a book in hand. Tina loved it the moment she saw it, and expressed that.

"I love y-it!"

_Feel it coming out my throat_

Tina almost spilt. Queenie gave her a small smirk as Tina looked through the pages of the red leather book, cheeks tinged red. Newt and Jacob were looking at her oddly, confused by her stumbled words. Tina ignored them and just admired the book that Newt went to great lengths to deliver. He told her it was the first edition ever printed, which meant that he valued her!

Just before dessert Queenie quickly made an excuse to steal Tina away. She told her to tell Newt how she felt. Tina refused.

"He'll never feel the same way about me"

Queenie gave her an exasperated look with a sigh and just told her to go at her own pace. When it got to the evening Jacob went back home and Tina insisted that Newt should stay with them. He caved in eventually, saying he'd sleep in his case.

The next few days were the same, when Tina got back from work she would happily help Newt with his creatures in his case while talking. They sometimes spent hours in the case just talking. Tina loved it when Newt was in his case because he could be himself around his creatures and what he'd created. He was in his element and Tina admired him.

_Guess I better wash my mouth out with soap_

Newt gradually became more comfortable around her, even once holding her hand that sent her heart soaring. He could now look her in the eye, and it made her feel special. He told her deep secrets and a little about about his complicated past. One day they were sitting together on a grassy bank, watching the sun set inside the case in comfortable silence. Tina, her heart not seeming to listen to her brain, rested her head on Newt's shoulder. She felt him tense up a little at the contact and almost jerked away, but he'd already put an arm round her. She couldn't stop the grin growing on her face as she fell asleep, her head finally landing in his lap.

After that, Tina almost contemplated the thought of maybe Newt liking her back. They had held hands and she even practically slept on his lap. But voices in her head told her that it was just a friendly gesture, out of politeness. These voices kept her awake at night and circled her everyday thoughts.

Tina's heart hadn't caused her to blurt anything out just yet. Her brain was to quick. Until she asked him that question.

"Are we friends?"

It wasn't a serious question, it just had a lot of thoughts surrounding it. Newt answered awkwardly, not really knowing what to say in this sudden change of topic. He replied that yes he thought they were very good friends, but she could have sworn she heard him mutter:

"More than friends."

She wished they were more than friends.

_God I wish I never spoke_

In her dreams Tina started to worry what her heart would make her do. Her dreams pictured her close to Newt, even kissing him. Her heart yearned for that to come true, but Tina knew it would never happen. Queenie urged her to tell him, but Tina didn't even want to think of what rejection would do, she didn't want to ruin a wonderful friendship.

One day she almost did. They were just finishing feeding all the creatures and Newt was just tending to the Occamies. Tina's heart pounded watching him interact with them. She was so focused on him that she didn't stop herself from saying it.

"I love you."

Tina immediately clamped her hands over her mouth as her cheeks burned in embarrassment. He turned around, apparently not having heard her and asked what she said.

"Dougal wants you."

It was true, Dougal had been trying to get Newt's attention for a while. Newt looked at her closely and asked why her cheeks were so red.

"It's hot in here."

Tina shrugged her blazer off, trying to ignore his concerned look.

_Now I gotta wash my mouth out with soap_

More so than often, Queenie seemed to subtly leave Newt and Tina alone in the apartment. Jacob seemed to be in on it too, making excuses to take Queenie out and giving Newt little winks. Tina glared at her sister annoyed that she'd told Jacob about her feelings for Newt, she was terrified that he would find out.

Tina loved him. She loved the way he would roll his sleeves up inside the case to reveal slightly toned arms. She loved the way he was comfortable around his creatures and the way he referred to himself as "mummy". She loved the way he argued with Pickett, the way he slept with Dougal by his side and how his face lit up when his creatures were mentioned. She loved his blue-green eyes and his hair that looked red in the sunlight. She loved the freckles that spattered his boyish face and his cute smile. She loved his kind and caring nature and social inability. Tina found him utterly endearing.

Nothing would be done about it, of course. If Tina had her way she would keep her feelings secret and take them to her grave. She did not wish to take the risk of ruining a perfectly good friendship over her insignificant feelings. Obviously, even if they weren't friends her affections would be purely unrequited. Queenie may sigh and tell her to spill everything because nothing will happen if she doesn't say anything. But, Tina points out, this is coming from a woman who has every man wrapped round her little finger. Tina, on the other hand, is inexperienced in love and wouldn't have a chance to be loved anyway.

Her heart had other ideas.

_Feel it coming out my throat_

Sometimes Tina would get lost in the blue-green blend of his eyes as he talked happily about Hogwarts. Sometimes those eyes would gaze at her intently, making her face heart up and her heart pound. Sometimes she'd watch his mouth and wondered what it what be like to kiss him. When she did wonder about such fantasies she always attempted to snap herself out of it by reminding herself that falling in love was dangerous.

They would talk well into the night with a cup of hot cocoa each in the light of the red fire. It was in these situations Newt shared with her his most private secrets and memories. He shared how getting expelled from Hogwarts ruined his relationship with his brother and father, saying that he hardly corresponded with them anymore. He'd almost completely lost contact. He shared how he'd always felt so close to his mother and her love for magical creatures inspired his. It fascinated Tina how loving he could be. He also shared how he'd had his first kiss with Leta Lestrange under a maple tree.

That last one pulled at Tina's emotions a little too much for her liking. The thought of it gave her an urge to distance herself from a man who's heart belonged to someone else. It also kept her awake at night, taunting her heart. Dreams would include an image of a younger Newt kissing an impossibly beautiful girl, arms wrapped around her waist, entwined under a maple tree. She'd wake up sweating and shaking with the image burned deep in her mind.

Tina had tried to get rid of her fondness for Newt. She tried to ignore the way he would make her blush and heat up inside. She told herself that going weak at the knees by looking into his eyes was just platonic. She told herself that the butterflies in her stomach were nothing.

_Guess I better wash my mouth out with soap_

Tina wasn't what the average man would desire. She was skinny, tall and fit, lacking the soft curves and swells needed in the subtle arts of seduction. Although her mind could still fantasize.

In her fantasy world Newt only had eyes for her, to him she was beautiful. A word that no one in their right mind would use to describe her. In this particular dream everything was slow. Tina yearned for his affection and willed for her dream to move quicker. But once again, her fantasy world didn't oblige. In her dream she had her hand on the back of his neck and their bodies felt so close. They stared into each other's eyes as Tina moved closer. Their lips were just millimetres apart...

Tina woke up suddenly, her dark room a shock from her dream. She was breathing heavily, a strange fluttering in her stomach. She closed her eyes and realised that her duvet wasn't over her. It was a long bundle across the length of her bed and she was hugging it. Tina scowled at it, as if it stopped her dream and threw it over herself to try and enter the dream world once again.

She didn't sleep that night, Newt's face and his cute, lopsided smile kept her awake. But she did find her duvet bundled on one side of the bed. For some reason the duvet was comforting. Tina smiled to herself as she wrapped one leg round it, the duvet almost feeling like an actual person.

_God I wish I never spoke_

This dream was oddly realistic.

Tina was with Newt in the case and Jacob and Queenie were only at the next habitat. Newt was explaining something about Occamies, thoroughly engrossed in his explanation, looking up and meeting Tina's eyes every so often. Tina blushed, even though it was only a dream, only a figment of her imagination.

He looked at her and she was lost in his eyes for a moment, the sea of ever-changing green-blue eyes. He grinned his lopsided smile and she smiled herself. Then Tina did something that she'd never do in real life.

She took his collar in both hands and kissed him firmly but tenderly on the lips. She felt him tense and she released her hands in shock.

Tina realised this wasn't a dream.

_Now I gotta wash my mouth out with soap_

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry.
> 
> This was meant to be a two-shot, with Newt's POV in the next chapter. I started it but never got round to finishing it. 
> 
> If anyone likes this or if it gets some reviews then I will probably finish this.


End file.
